


The wrong choice

by Nuredhel



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 18:30:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3738988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuredhel/pseuds/Nuredhel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elladan makes a very bad Choice and now it is up to Glorfindel and Elrohir to save him, if it is at all possible. Can love conquer Death?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The wrong choice

**Author's Note:**

> This story is rather dark and graphic and very angsty, you have been warned.

The choice

 

The hall was teeming with life and laughter, it was indeed a grand celebration and the whole population had gathered there. Elves were scurrying around, some danced while others gathered in small groups, chatting or flirting and the general mood was one of great joy. Glorfindel sat by the hearth with a huge glass of wine, he felt relaxed and at ease and he was of course very happy too but he couldn’t deny it, there was a sort of feeling inside of him that wasn’t all that pleasant. He felt…sad, no, jealous? Hurt perhaps? He threw a glance up at the table where Elrond sat with his two sons, one on each side of him, he looked very proud and he had every right to be so. The two young peredhil had become fine warriors and everybody loved and respected them.

Glorfindel couldn’t count the number of times they had turned the entire community upside down with their insane pranks and ideas and he smiled fondly at the memories. They had such light, such a youthful energy and optimism and Glorfindel was so very proud to have been their mentor and friend. It felt as though it was yesterday he had first seen them and now, now they were ready to enter their adulthood. He swallowed, both the twins did look stunning this day, they wore identical clothes of a dark blue color and nobody there was blind to their beauty. Glorfindel swallowed, he stared at the glass of wine in his hand and tried to forget the sensation churning in his chest. He had no idea of when that feeling had appeared, he only knew when it became apparent to him what it was that he felt. Before he had believed it to be pride, to be an almost fatherly affection towards his best pupil ever, then one day after they had been sparring he had stared at the young peredhel and he realized that he wanted to hold the strong young body close, that he wanted to touch that smooth skin, those taut toned muscles and hear his pupil moan his name.

He had been able to hide his first shocked reaction to the truth, that he was attracted to Elladan and that he wanted him. He had always favored males but he had never in his life imagined that he would feel thus towards one of those that he had sworn to protect. It had caused a lot of emotional turmoil within him, after all, Elladan wasn’t even an adult yet and even though he suspected that the young ellon would have been willing laying with him would be a crime until he had reached his maturity. So Glorfindel hid his affection and his desire and also the love he knew was growing inside of his heart. He did love Elladan, it was insane but true, he had to be honest about what he felt, at least to himself and nobody, not even Elrond who usually could peer into the very soul of someone had the slightest suspicion about this. Glorfindel was very good at hiding his feelings, it was something he had learned while maneuvering the difficult political waters of Gondolin, everything you said or did could and would be used against you, simple as that.

He had early come to the conclusion that Elladan too would come to prefer males, he showed little interest in the females surrounding him like bees around a flower but he often could be seen staring at some handsome warrior and it wasn’t just in admiration. Glorfindel recognized that lust very well and he ached to tell Elladan the truth, that he desired to be more than just a mentor and a friend, that he yearned to become the young peredhel’s lover.

But he never had, he had never given the young warrior any indications of how he felt and now he felt miserable. As the customs dictated the young elves would choose a partner to teach them the basics of carnal pleasure on this night that marked their transition from youths to mature adults and Glorfindel had secretly hoped that maybe…perhaps…

Elrohir had already made his choice, days ago. He was flirting rather shamelessly with an elleth Glorfindel knew he had had a soft spot for, it had been no secret that he would chose her and she was a good choice too, experienced and gentle and very beautiful. Elrohir would probably have a night well worth remembering. Glorfindel could almost smell the sexual tension in the air between them. Elladan on the other hand, it was not so certain who he would chose but Glorfindel knew, Elladan had told him. He felt proud that the young warrior trusted him and confided in him but he had almost forgotten his manners and place when Elladan said the name. He knew that warrior well, he was among the best fighters in the entire army and very handsome, Glorfindel had in fact felt a sort of attraction towards him too when he first arrived at Imladris but that attraction had waned into distrust after just a short time. Avanwar was a fierce warrior, he was renowned for his skills at killing and it was just those skills that ticked Glorfindel off.  
Avanwar never made clean kills, ever! It was as if he enjoyed inflicting as much agony onto his enemy as possible. Some said it only showed his hatred for those cursed beasts but Glorfindel had a sneaking suspicion of something else, something far more sinister. He had seen the shine in Avanwar’s eyes when he had skewered an orc to the ground with a spear.

The normal thing to do would be to grasp a sword and behead the creature and be done with it, Avanwar had twisted the spear around for a good minute while the orc lay there screeching in agony, writing in an almost obscene way. Glorfindel suspected that Avanwar found pleasure in the agony of others and he felt that he should say something. But then again, he could be wrong, he had no evidence of this and he knew that Avanwar and Elladan were good friends and very close. He had seen them laughing and drinking together, hugging, sharing small intimate conversations. No, he was wrong, surely he was wrong. Avanwar was just enjoying killing orcs, who didn’t by the way? He too took great delight in ridding the world of those abominations and he knew that orcs had killed Avanwar’s entire family. He was just avenging them, of course.

But still it felt almost hurtful, he was sure he could have given Elladan the night of his life and he wished that he hadn’t hidden his feelings this well. He ought to have given the peredhel a small hint to what it was that he felt. But now it was too late and he only hoped that he would have an opportunity later, after all, taking multiple lovers was just normal for the young before they found their one and bonded for life. The party went on around them and there was a lot of merrymaking and jokes being made, Elrohir was blushing like mad but Elladan just stood there, looking very confident and almost snug. He had always been the most calm and collected by the two, the best warrior by far. He could really become legendary if he sought that path, Glorfindel had never met anyone with such talent.  
He saw that Arwen was running around, dancing with some other young ellith and Celebrian was joining them, she was teaching the young females some dances from Lothlorien and Glorfindel had to smile with both melancholy and joy watching them. To Arwen he was like a favorite uncle and he felt very protective of the young one. When the time came for her to get suitors he would be ready for them, and they would have to face his wrath if they in any way got out of line.

Elladan stood there with Avanwar and Glorfindel saw that the somewhat sturdy noldo had placed his hand on Elladan’s right buttock in an almost possessive manner. Glorfindel couldn’t watch this, he stared into the flames instead, feeling his heart hammer in his chest, as if it was surrounded by embers. Elladan had the right to choose whoever he wanted this night, nobody could question that. Glorfindel just hoped that he didn’t do a bad choice, he still couldn’t quite shake the feeling of danger, of something being very wrong. You are paranoid, it is just your own jealousy speaking, his inner voice was stern and he grunted and emptied his glass. Yes, he was jealous, that was the truth.  
He wanted to be Elladan’s first lover, to show him what pleasure was all about. He bit his teeth together, sneaked out of the hall and stood by the railing outside of the building for a while. The skies were clear and the stars did shine like diamonds, he swallowed hard, that knot in his throat threatening to strangle him. He felt a burning sensation in his eyes and swore to himself. No, absolutely not. He had never given Elladan any reason to choose him, this was just silly. It was his own fault that Elladan had chosen Avanwar and not himself, he had to keep up their professional relationship no matter how much it hurt, he was Elladan’s teacher and captain damn it. He could never be more than that, it wouldn’t be right.

He walked slowly back to his own rooms, alone and feeling desolate and lonely. There were plenty of others out there who would be more than happy to warm his bed that night but he wasn’t in the mood, they could never be the one he really wanted. He downed an entire bottle of Dorwinion wine and fell onto his bed, more or less unconscious. That was far better than the alternative, longing for the impossible to happen.

 

Elrohir woke up feeling slightly confused, he grunted and then he remembered and a wide grin spread across his handsome face. Ah, yes, Finyariel, oh by Eru what a night. He turned around, she was still asleep next to him, laying on her side and he let his eyes glide along her curves, it was like a landscape and he couldn’t get enough of its exploration. He felt a wicked grin emerging and crept closer to her, starting to shower her breasts with eager attention. She gasped and then she moaned and her breath hitched. “I see you are awake?”

Elrohir nodded and let go of a gloriously erect nipple. “Oh yes, awake and ready”

Finyariel lifted her head, stared down his body and raised an eyebrow in a gesture of awe. “No doubt about that melethron. Is that for me?”

He rolled her over with a growl and nipped her neck while getting in position. “Yes, all of it!”

Finyariel gasped and then she moaned his name and followed his rhythm, Elrohir had never imagined that it could feel that good and he had learned so much that night. He had of course pleasured himself rather often after his body started to awaken but it was nothing compared with being with a partner and he was proud of the fact that he had given her pleasure in return for the immense joys she had given him. She gasped and grasped onto his buttocks, her fingernails did scratch him but the slight pain was just stimulating. “Oh yes, yes, lean a little more forward, ah, just like that”

She was instructing him even now and he eagerly complied and was rewarded just a short moment later when she arched towards him, screaming his name as he felt her strong muscles caressing him. He followed immediately, feeling the world spin and seeing shooting stars and flashes, he wasn’t ashamed to roar in pleasure and when his orgasm let go of him he just collapsed on top of her, panting heavily and feeling how the cool air of the room dried the sweat of his body. He sniffed, the air reeked of sex and she giggled and got out of the bed on shaking legs. “I need to use the privy.”

He just nodded and leaned back into the soft pillows, he felt blissfully relaxed and well, it had been wonderful beyond description and he stared down at his cock and sniggered, he hadn’t realized just how much pleasure that thing could bring him until that night. He closed his eyes, now, how had his brothers night been? They had agreed to close the mind bond between them, this was a private moment and they could perhaps share each-other’s experiences later but not this time. He reached out to touch his brother’s mind. (Dan? How are you feeling this morning?)

He expected an answer to follow immediately but nothing, he frowned. (Dan?!)

He was closed out, intentionally. He sat up in the bed, could it be that Dan still was busy? After all, he too had just had an extra tumble and perhaps Dan didn’t want to be disturbed? He took a deep breath, being shut out from his brother’s mind didn’t feel good at all, it made him feel uneasy. (Dan? Just answer, I want to know if you are okay)

No answer, just a wall of silence and he couldn’t get through, no matter how he tried. He got up, he ought to take a bath but he just felt a churning feeling of fear in his gut. Finyariel got out of the privy, staring at him. “Is anything wrong?”

Elrohir tried to smile. “Hopefully not but I can’t reach Dan, his mind is shut to me.”

She looked a bit worried too now. “Maybe he is drunk?”

Elrohir threw a quick glance at her. “No he is not, if he was he would be invading my mind prying for the juicy details of our night. I know my brother!”

Finyariel nodded. “Of course you do, go check on him”

Elrohir threw a tunic and a pair of loose training pants on before he rushed out of the room, running towards Elladan’s room. He stopped by the door and listened, no, it was completely quiet in there, too quiet. Elladan wasn’t asleep, he would have answered if he was. Elrohir felt uncertain of what to do, it was impolite entering someone’s rooms like that, without asking but he felt…oh he felt…scared. He took a deep breath and opened the door slowly. “Dan? Are you in here?”

He took one peek inside of the room and then his breath almost stopped and he let out a short yelp in utter shock and disbelief. He backed out of the door, not willing to believe what he had just seen, no, it couldn’t be, it couldn’t. He needed help, he needed someone he could rely on. He turned and two doors down he saw Glorfindel’s door. He ran over and knocked on it frantically, panting and shivering all over.

Glorfindel woke up to a most infernal racket, his head felt as though it was going to explode and his mouth was stuffed with something most disgusting and fluffy or at least it felt that way. He growled and tried to sit up, what the hell? Oh yes, the feast and the celebration, and one whole bottle of Dorwinion. He had to reluctantly admire Thranduil who drank that stuff regularly, he had once seen the ellon down two bottles in a couple of hours and he wasn’t even glassy eyed afterwards, either he used magic or he had a stomach made from mithril. The banging continued, it was rather frantic and Glorfindel moaned, oh his head. “Yes, yes, a minute!”

He got up, this had to be bloody important or he would most certainly have the head of whoever it was that disturbed him while in such a sorry state. He put on a dressing gown and ripped the door open, expecting to see some soldier or perhaps Erestor or a servant. It was Elrohir and he was pale, Glorfindel immediately felt his stomach drop. Yes, serious indeed. “Fin, I can’t find Dan, I can’t feel his mind and his rooms…Eru!”

Glorfindel felt a terrible sting of fear rush through him, he stormed past Elrohir and entered Elladan’s rooms at breakneck speed, he stopped dead in his tracks, just staring. The bed was a mess but that was to expect, what was abnormal was the amount of blood staining the sheets, they were almost crimson in color and Glorfindel felt his stomach lurch, he felt sick, the stench of blood and semen mixed caused him to turn around and gasp for air. There were some satin scarfs laying on the bed, he held his breath and walked up to the messed up bed, touched the scarfs. There was blood on them too, they had been used to tie someone up and he felt his mind rear and anger started seething within his gut. Elrohir stood in the doorway, his eyes huge in shock and fear. “So much blood, there aren’t supposed to be that much blood?!”

Glorfindel shook his head. “No, it isn’t supposed to be blood if his lover was gentle with him. Which he obviously wasn’t!”

Glorfindel felt awful, it was his fault, he could have prevented this, he should have listened to his intuition. Elrohir moaned. “Oh Dan, Eru have mercy, we have to find him!”

Glorfindel nodded. “Yes, and I think I may know where he is, there is a spot in the garden he used to go to when he needed to be alone, I bet he is there. “

Elrohir was almost stepping in one place. “Then let’s go!”

Glorfindel grasped Elrohir by his shoulders. “I will go, I don’t think you want to see this if I am right, go to your father, tell him to prepare the healing rooms and gather his helpers and then go to Vhanadir and tell him to send out soldiers to find Avanwar. He has to be here somewhere, he has to answer to what he has done.”

Elrohir hesitated for a second, then he nodded and ran off, Glorfindel didn’t care if he only wore a dressing robe and was barefoot. He ran down to the gardens, luckily it was still early in the morning and nobody was up and about, courtesy of the previous night’s festivities. He rushed along the paths and prayed to Eru that he was right, that Elladan was where he hoped he was and hadn’t done something very stupid. The possibility of a total collapse of both fëa and hröa was possible after something like this and the idea of Dan dying like that was beyond awful.

He found an area of almost untouched forest, it was filled with dense bushes and he slowly made his way through the nettles and burrs and found a huge boulder that was leaning up towards another one, forming almost a sort of cave. He smelled it before he even saw anyone, he cringed and slowed down, approached the opening with great care. He saw Elladan and he was breathing, so he wasn’t dead but he looked awful. He was dressed only in a pair of pants that was torn and dirty and he was shivering. The steel grey eyes were staring out through his tangled black hair and they stared at nothing, they were empty.  
He sat crouched down, his arms around his knees, chin on top of then, he didn’t seem to respond when Glorfindel hawked to catch his attention.  
The golden warrior almost sobbed, Elladan had nasty bruises on his face, his nose had been bleeding and one eye was almost closed since it was very swollen. He stank to high heavens and Glorfindel saw several bite marks covering the smooth skin, one was around the left nipple and it was deep and another one on the neck had broken through the skin and had been bleeding profusely. Glorfindel had sometimes bitten his lovers too, while in the grasp of ecstasy but never like that, never in such a way. It was a display of sadism, of a mind so darkened and twisted he had a hard time believing it.  
He hadn’t been wrong about Avanwar, he did get off by causing others pain.

The young ellon was trembling and there was a sound coming from him with every breath, a sort of wheezing, Glorfindel felt cold all over, he leaned forth and brushed the long black hair away from the neck exposing a very nasty bruise around it. He had almost been strangled ! Glorfindel felt anger boiling within like the fire of the Balrog which had caused his first death, but now he had to think about Dan first and vengeance came second. He sat down slowly, moving carefully so that he wouldn’t frighten the young ellon. “Dan? It is me, Glorfindel, please, look at me.”

At first Dan didn’t react, then he slowly turned his face towards the golden warrior and Glorfindel whimpered, he wanted to cry but he couldn’t. He had to be strong now, strong for Elladan. “Fin? Is…is it you?”  
The voice was weak and raspy, hoarse, he had probably been screaming until he couldn’t make any more sound.

Glorfindel nodded, feeling tears falling from his eyes. “It is me yes Dan, I…I am so sorry”

He didn’t know what else to say, Elladan blinked and then he let out a low wailing sound that was the most awful thing the balrog slayer had ever heard. It was so filled with pain and grief it almost stunned him, Elladan was suddenly leaning towards Glorfindel who couldn’t do anything except embracing him, the young peredhel hid his face against Glorfindel’s chest and he was panting and his skin felt cold and also sticky. Glorfindel cringed when he realized why, he swore he would be the one to punish Avanwar personally. He looked down, gasped, the ground where Elladan had been sitting was covered with blood and the pants were soaking with it. Glorfindel knew that this was serious, he grasped the young warrior carefully and lifted him. Dan moaned in agony and tried to resist but he was way too weak from the loss of blood and shock to do anything. Glorfindel held the shivering ellon close to his chest and still his tears were running down his cheeks. “Oh Dan , by Eru, I suspected that he wasn’t who he pretends to be but I didn’t really believe it, forgive me for not warning you”

Elladan just breathed, still that awful rasping sound and Glorfindel walked as fast as he could through the small patch of forest towards the paths. “Fin?”

Dan’s voice was so weak and Glorfindel swallowed the terrible sensation of mixed pity and guilt. “Yes mellon, what is it?”

Dan wheezed. “If I die now, then….promise me…to tell ada and naneth and Ro and Arwen that I love them”

Glorfindel felt cold all over. “No Dan, you are not going to die, you are going to be okay again, you hear me? You are not going to die because…”

The young elf was slipping away, he could feel it. “Why?”

The voice was so weak, so trembling, like a squeak and he closed his eyes, the agony almost too much to bear. “Because I love you Dan, I will not let you die.”

There was a faint smile on Dan’s bruised and bloody face. “I am glad I know…I wish I knew yesterday…I…love…you too “

Glorfindel sprinted into one of the paths, his feet were bleeding now and he had cuts and sores everywhere but he didn’t feel the pain at all. He just ran. “Dan, I should have told you, I could have saved you, please, say you forgive me, I cannot find peace before you say you do”

Dan’s eyes were rolling up into his head, his breathing becoming increasingly heavy, his throat was probably swelling shut. “I…forgive…you”

He went completely limp and Glorfindel let out a piercing shriek in sheer agony and fear, if Dan died then he would die too, he couldn’t live knowing that he could have prevented this. He ran so hard his lungs were burning, he left bloody footprints across the tiles of the courtyard but he kept his speed up until he reached the healing ward. He crashed through the door, carrying the limp body as if it was made from eggshells and Elrond was already there, pale and in disbelief. Elrohir stood by him and let out a terrified scream as he saw his twin. “Dan!!”

Elrond cried out too, the terrible sound of a father suddenly fearing for the life of his child and Glorfindel placed Dan onto the bed that was already prepared. The golden warrior felt a sort of fatigue he never had felt before, a deep sensation of both shock and grief and it was causing him to fall into a chair like he had been hit over the head. “Save him, please, by Eru’s mercy”

Elrond stood there just staring for a few seconds before he managed to push his paternal instincts aside and become a healer. Elrohir stood there with eyes that looked almost too big for his face, he was shivering and Glorfindel moaned. “I found him in the garden, there was so much blood, so much…blood”

There was a scream coming from outside of the room and one of the other healers managed to close the door before Celebrian and Arwen could rush into the room, they should be spared for this and Glorfindel let his head rest in is hands, he was miserable. Elrond was cutting away Dan’s pants, he was working fast now and some other healers were treating his throat. There were black bruises all over the body, some very nasty and Elrond groaned. “He’s got broken ribs, at least three of them, and this shoulder is dislocated. Morgoth’s breath, what did that son of a bitch do to my son!”

Glorfindel growled, he felt his strength return with his wrath. “I will tell you what that excuse for an elf did, he tortured Dan, he probably got off by watching Dan suffer.”

Elrond went even paler than before. “And we have been feeding a snake among us, gods.”

Celebrian was still screaming outside of the doors and Elrond stared at Elrohir. “Go, see to your sister and mother, get them out of here.”

Elrohir bit his lower lip, he did look like a child for a moment. “I do not want to leave him!”

Elrond sent the youngest twin a sad glance. “But you have to, I cannot focus with you both here, I have enough worrying about Dan, please.”

Elrohir nodded reluctantly and left and Elrond started examining Dan’s lower body, he cringed visibly and Glorfindel swallowed hard. “How bad is it?”

Elrond whispered, his voice so strained, so thin and so weak, Glorfindel had never heard his lord sounding thus before. “He has been torn asunder, the muscle, the tissue, everything.”

Glorfindel didn’t want to look, he stared away, feeling so terribly ashamed of himself. “Elrond, I have to confess something to you.”

Elrond was almost panting, trying to understand the extent of his son’s injuries. “Is now a good time? Can’t it wait?”

Glorfindel sobbed, he felt like he was falling apart, quite literally. “I…no, it cannot wait. I love him Elrond, I love Dan but I have never let him know of it, or anyone else for that matter. And I feared that Avanwar was a sadist but I didn’t really dare to believe it, I thought it was just my own jealousy speaking. I could have warned Dan, I could have saved him. Oh Eru, I am so sorry!”

Elrond just stared at him with wide eyes, he blinked twice and opened his mouth but he was apparently unable to speak. Then he squeaked and managed to grasp a hold of himself. “I am glad you told me this Fin, but do not blame yourself, not even I suspected that Avanwar was anything but a normal ellon with normal…needs.”

Glorfindel just sobbed and the healer threw a glance filled with compassion at him before he yet again focused on his sons injuries. He was aghast, this was the worst he had ever seen and he had seen a lot. He had even treated warriors raped by orcs and not even they had been this damaged physically. He shouted orders, got bowls of herbal extracts brought forth, his best apprentice took care of the throat, the bites and the ribs, the shoulder and bruises. The swollen eye was not swollen due to a punch but probably from having been exposed to seed, it could cause a nasty reaction if it got in someone’s eyes and it would at least sting a lot.  
The son of a bitch had to have come over Dan’s face and Elrond felt an awful almost blinding anger building up inside. Avanwar had done this to his child, to his precious son, not even orcs were that perverted.

He was very careful when examining Dan’s lower body and he cringed inwardly, his scrotum was swollen, there were some nasty marks on his penis too and the internal injuries were awful. He had instruments made for examining people’s rectal area and he whispered a pardon as he inserted them. Dan groaned in pain, even unconscious he felt this. Elrond was fast, he swallowed and turned to Glorfindel. “When you entered the room, did you by chance happen to see any sort of…object?”

Glorfindel sniffed and frowned. “Object? No? why?”

Elrond sighed. “Because this sort of injury can’t be caused just by normal penetration, he must have used something else than just his own…you know what.”

Glorfindel got to his feet. “I will go check. “

Elrond nodded. “Do that.”

Glorfindel turned around in the door. “Tell me the truth Elrond, will he live?”

Elronds shoulders fell, he stared down and Glorfindel felt dizzy. “No!”

The healers eyes were dark. “Physically he may heal but I fear for his fëa, he may choose to die”

Glorfindel groaned and ran out of the door, checking the room would at least give him something to think about. He stopped in the door, swallowed, he could almost hear it, groans, pleas, screams. He shuddered and wiped tears off his face, started to go through the room methodically, revealing a whip, some chains and a thick bat used for a popular children’s ball game, now he knew what it was that had fractured Dan’s ribs.

He found it underneath the bed, a very delicately carved wooden phallus that looked very realistic except from the nasty almost spike like elevations placed in a spiral pattern up along the shaft. It was the most vile object Glorfindel had ever seen and he found a towel and wrapped it in. He got back to the healing ward. Elrond had managed to stop the bleeding and he tried to stich those rifts and tears he could reach, he went pale as a ghost when Glorfindel showed him what he had found. “Oh Dan, my poor poor son, Eru be merciful”

Elrond was afraid that the injuries were just too much for Dan’s body to cope with, some tears couldn’t be stitched and he knew that Elladan would have to starve until he was healed. If he had any bowel movements it could tear him up again and the injuries could get infected. The other healers were as terrified as he was, the throat could easily have caused the death of the young ellon and the nasty cuts on the wrists told of a terrible fight for freedom and life. When Elrond had done all he could he poured as much of his healing energy into Dan’s body as he possibly could. He was dizzy and shivering afterwards and Glorfindel helped him into a chair, there the healer broke down in tears and Glorfindel could only sit next to him, holding his hand.

Elrohir had tried to comfort the females of the family, they were crying and so was he, he had never believed that he could lose his brother, and absolutely not like this. The possibility of falling in battle was always there but nothing like this, nothing so….awful. He could not understand it at all. He sat on a bench outside of the family’s house when one of the guards approached him and bowed respectfully. “How is he?”

Elladan was respected and loved by the whole population and Elrohir shrugged, he wasn’t afraid to show the guard that he was crying. “I do not know, he was…severely injured.”

The guard cringed. “By Eru, I promise, we will all be praying for him, each and every one of us.”

Elrohir just nodded, feeling strangely numb. ”Thank you”

The guard swallowed. “If there is anything…”

Elrohir just sent him a very faint smile. “Have anyone seen any signs of that monster?”

The guard straightened himself up. “A horse is missing from the stable, and there are tracks, a whole troop has been sent out. “

Elrohir bit his teeth together. “Good, I hope they won’t stop until they find that…thing!”

The guard nodded, he stared at the ground. “My lord, the soldiers….we have had our suspicions…but nobody has seen anything… I mean…”

Elrohir stared at the guard. “What do you mean?”

The guard took a deep breath. “His parents were killed by orcs right? And he escaped without a scratch. It isn’t normal to be in such luck.”

Elrohir frowned. “He is good at killing orcs. “

The guard made a grimace. “Oh yes, he is good at torturing them, and a few orcs here and there doesn’t matter to the dark forces, they are expendable, if he….if he is truly evil then… we have indeed had a rotten apple in the barrel.”

Elrohir gasped and felt dizzy. “I will inform my father of this, thank you. “

Elrohir swallowed. There had been a suspiciously large number of attacks in the recent years, and they had known way too much about the defenses of Imladris. Could it be that the ellon really was serving the forces of darkness? He shivered and went to inform his father of this.

Elrond was half asleep, he refused to leave his son’s side and Glorfindel sat there too, still in a bloody dressing robe. Elrohir brought him some clean clothes and then he discussed the matter with Elrond. The healer had a hard time believing that Avanwar really was a servant of the dark lord, his ring hadn’t reacted to his presence. But the idea of a spy was still unsettling and uncomfortable and he wanted to see for himself as soon as Avanwar was caught. If he escaped then Elrond would set heaven and earth into motion to catch the scumbag, there would be no safe place to hide for the one responsible for this.

 

Elrohir was terribly worried, he went to bed early that evening and he had problems sleeping but he was so emotionally drained he finally succumbed to his fatigue and fell into a very deep sleep. He was walking through a forest when he heard a voice, it was weak and distant and he knew he was dreaming but there was no way he could mistake the voice of his brother for that of another. He was reaching out through the bond and Elrohir rushed to meet him. (Dan?)

There was a moment of hesitation and then an answer. ( Ro, I am so sorry, I am so sorry, I didn’t want it, believe me, it wasn’t me!)

Elrohir saw a figure cowering underneath a fallen tree, tears glistening on the cheeks and he looked younger, like he was barely a youth. He knelt down next to his brother. (We know Dan, we all know. We miss you, please don’t leave us behind, it wasn’t your fault at all.)

Dan was staring out into nothing, his face without expressions. ( I didn’t know, I swear, I didn’t Ro, I didn’t know that Avan was…that he was so sick)

Elrohir stroked his brother’s hair, it was matted and tangled and those eyes, they made Elrohir’s fëa freeze. (Please, don’t think about it, father will heal you and everything will be alright again, we all love you Dan, please don’t go.)

Elladan sobbed. (Fin told me he loved me, and I am so sorry, I feel the same way but I never thought the he would think of me in such a manner. He is…is so much more than I can ever hope to be…and now it is too late)

Elrohir groaned in desperation. (No, no it isn’t too late, how can you think that? Fin loves you, he want you to live)

Dan let out a wail of grief, it made Elrohir start, the sound was so loud. (How can you say that? How can anyone want me now, after…after the things…he did to me…)

Elrohir gasped and embraced his twin, hard. (Dan, we have always shared everything, everything. Show me, share it with me. Maybe the pain will be easier to carry when we both share it)

Dan turned his head around. Sluggishly ( I cannot hurt you thus, I just can’t)

Elrohir sighed. (Dan, you are hurting me by shutting me out, I want to help Dan, if you die then I will fade and you know it. Do it for us both)

Dan sobbed and hid his face towards his twin’s neck, warm tears ran like a river down Elrohir’s chest. (It wasn’t bad at first you know…we kissed and he caressed me and called me beautiful and I liked it, I liked it a lot. It was good)

Elrohir felt a need to cry too, oh Dan, if I only could have taken your place, my dear sweet brother. I would do it right now, without hesitation. His inner voice was so sore, so sad. ( I am sure it was Dan)

Dan stared out into the night of this dream world that they shared. ( Oh it was wonderful, he…he touched me in ways nobody ever has and I thought I would die cause it felt so nice. He was so gentle, at first.)

Elrohir rocked his brother in his arms.( And then it changed?)

Dan nodded, clawing at Elrohir’s tunic with shivering hands. (I...I came…and then….then he changed, his eyes…)

Elrohir closed his eyes. ( Show me brother, share the burden, let me carry it with you)

The world spun in front of his eyes and Elrohir was staring at Dan’s room as if he was there. He saw as Dan was being brought to an orgasm by Avanwar’s obviously very skilled hands and his brother yelled out in ecstasy and collapsed onto the bed, panting and shuddering with the power of his release. Avanwar was still caressing Dan’s body but the attitude had changed, he saw it in the body language of his brother’s tormentor. It had become predatory, hungry. Elrohir saw as Avanwar tied Dan’s wrists to the bedpost, at first Dan just grinned, believing it to be a part of the game somehow, then Elrohir could see how he got nervous, how the dark expression on his lover’s face turned lust into fear. Dan started to struggle, tried to free himself and Avanwar grasped him, held him down, bit him. Dan yelled out in pain and now Avanwar got aroused, he hadn’t been hard until then.

He continued to bite and lick at the blood from the wounds, moved down, held Dan down with strong hands and Elrohir felt tears sting against his skin, it was terrible. Dan was begging Avanwar to let go of him, he didn’t like this, he didn’t want it like that. But the torment continued, Avanwar started to lick and suck at Dan’s cock and he got hard again, in spite of his fear and confusion. Elrohir moaned, it was sick, just revolting to watch but he had to, he had to understand what it was that had happened to his brother. Avanwar almost brought Dan to another completion, then he squeezed his balls hard while he bit down on his cock and Elrohir turned his head around, couldn’t watch this. But he heard, by Eru he heard Dan’s scream of agony and he heard Avanwar chuckle and moan in delight.

Elrohir felt like he had been turned into a statue, he couldn’t move, couldn’t look away any more, even if it felt as though it was he who laid there, who got bitten, kicked, hit. Avanwar sat on Dan’s chest, strangling him with a scarf while he stroked himself and spurted all over Dan’s face, Elrohir felt like retching watching it. Dan was struggling for his life, eyes filled with mortal fear, body shivering with pain and shock. Avanwar had gagged him, still Elrohir heard the screams, muffled as they were. (Oh Dan, gods, please help him)

Then Avanwar grasped Dan by the hips, he tried to fight himself free but he was helpless, Avanwar was so much stronger and he just thrust into Dan’s body without preparing him at all, Elrohir saw Dan arch in pain, saw his eyes wide open with shock, heard the screams. Avanwar just kept going, kept fucking him until Dan passed out. ( It hurt, it hurt so bad, it felt as if he was splitting me in half, I couldn’t bare it)

Elrohir nodded. ( I understand, your body tried to protect itself)

Dan sobbed and the images kept coming, Avanwar would stop the torture whenever Elladan passed out, and wait for the peredhel to wake up again before he continued. Dan had tried to pull himself free so hard he dislocated his shoulder and blood ran from his wrists, the sight of the desperation only turned Avanwar on even more. Now he went from just fucking to hitting, with the ball bat and the whip and the chains too, Dan had given up now, he just lay there, too much in shock and pain to be able to protest any more. That was obviously boring Avanwar who opened a small sack beneath the bed and brought out the object Glorfindel had found. It was huge and Elrohir let out a squeal when he saw it. Dan just shuddered, his eyes closed. Avanwar grinned, a very vicious grin. “Think you are done screaming for me pretty one? Think again”

He grasped the wooden phallus and pushed it into Dan’s body with such force the bed shook, Dan’s eyes rolled up and he screamed again, he screamed and screamed while Avanwar used that awful thing on him, fucked him with it violently and it was obvious that Avanwar enjoyed it immensely for he came several times. Roaring triumphantly each time, making sure to smear the seed into the wounds. Dan gave up, his fëa tried to flee, he went limp and unresponsive and Avanwar finished by hitting the limp body brutally. Then he got up and redressed himself, giggled and blew a kiss at Dan’s unresponsive body. “Well that was fun dear, too bad it was over so fast, I had hoped you would last a little longer but that darn human blood must have made you weaker than I expected. Still, it was nice. Say hello to Nàmo for me will you? I bet you will meet him pretty soon.”

Avanwar picked up his things, there were equipment hidden there, things needed when someone was to go for a long trip. He had obviously planned this for a long time. “Too bad daddy isn’t here for you right now, not even he will be able to patch you up again, but at least he will be busy trying for a few days.”

Avanwar put on a sword and a cloak and he grinned one last time. “I serve a new master you see, one more powerful than that pathetic half-elf. I will be rewarded soon, become one of his generals. He will be back you know. And he will be very happy to know who’s got those darn rings.”

He reached into a pouch he wore in his belt and held out a sort of jewel, it shone brightly and Avanwar kissed it. “Camouflage pretty one, very useful”

He left the room and after a while Dan regained consciousness, groaning in pain. He was bleeding profusely but somehow he managed to twist his body around until he managed to get hold of a fruit knife resting on the nightstand with his foot. He had always been agile but how he had managed that with his injuries was nothing short of a miracle. Perhaps the survival instincts were kicking in, making him forget the agony. He did cut through one of the scarfs, then he got his hand loose and cut the other one, he was free and lay there panting, shivering with fear and shame and pain.

Elrohir was aghast, he was right, the guards was right. Avanwar was a servant of the dark lord, perhaps even a very powerful one. And he had done this just to hurt Elrond, to be able to escape while he tended to his son. It was such a devilish plan, so sly and so terrible. And if Avanwar escaped then the dark forces would know who it was that carried the three elven rings of power. Elrohir watched as Elladan got up, got on a pair of pants, staggered out, possibly to find a safe place to die, like a wounded animal hiding from its hunters. There was no life in his eyes, no light.  
Elrohir gasped and the images disappeared, he hugged Dan tightly. (See? It wasn’t you, it wasn’t your fault, he was a monster Dan, a servant of…Sauron)

Dan just shook and Elrohir kissed his forehead. (Don’t fade, Dan, don’t you dare, don’t you hurt ada and naneth in such a way. You can live)

Dan just moaned. (How? How can I face them? He…he raped me, I will never be myself again, always carry the stains)

Elrohir shook him. (What stains? I don’t see no bloody stains, the only shame is on him, do you understand? It is on him!! We love you Dan, Glorfindel loves you, do you want to rob him of his chance to redeem himself? Ha? He blames himself for not having warned you)

Dan sighed. ( I forgave him)

Elrohir rolled his eyes. ( Whilst dying yes, how much do you think that means? He must hear it from you when you are awake and well to believe it, or else he will never be able to forgive himself. I bet you don’t want that to happen to him now do you?!)

Dan was trembling. (No)

Elrohir shook him again. (Then bloody hell, get out there and fight, fight to live. Don’t let that monster win, be stronger than him Dan, rise above it)

Dan just sobbed. (Not strong, weak)

Elrohir kissed him again, stroked his hair. ( No Dan, that is a lie, you are strong, because I am strong and I can carry it with you, we are twice what everybody else is, he forgot that didn’t he? )

Dan smiled, just a faint shadow of a smile but it was there. (Alright, I will try, as long as you are here with me)

Elrohir grasped onto him again, held him tight to his chest, to his heart. ( I will never leave you Dan, not as long as my heart is beating)

Dan nodded. (Thank you brother)

Elrohir found a better position in which to sit. ( You are welcome, it is what brothers are for right?)

 

The next morning there was a lot of commotion when Elrohir couldn’t be awakened, Elrond realized what he was doing right away and had him brought to the infirmary, placed the two in a bed together and they lay there like they had as children. Elrond was very worried, Elladan’s condition was stable but he feared an infection and he used all the herbs and power he thought he could spare. The entire valley knew of the struggle, knew of what had happened and Elrond had drugged Glorfindel just to get him to rest. The ellon had been beside himself with worry and Elrond was tired of having him hanging around all the time, asking questions about Elladan’s condition every five minutes.

Celebrian and Arwen were nervous too, Elrond felt that he was ignoring their fear and despair but he couldn’t leave Elladan, not now. He kept monitoring the young warrior for any signs of a fever but it didn’t come. Instead Elrohir got a fever that was easily brought down with herbs. Elrond realized that they were helping each other, that they used their shared strength. Elladan’s wounds used two weeks to heal and he was unconscious the whole time, Elrond was glad for the treatments for the tears and cuts were agonizing at first and he couldn’t have done it if his son was awake, somebody else would have had to do it for he couldn’t bare the thought of hearing his son screaming in pain.

Elrohir just lay there and Glorfindel sent out patrols every day, searching for Avanwar, it was obvious that he had fled and the gods alone knew to where. They could just hope that they caught him in the end. Three weeks later both the young ellyn woke up, simultaneously. Both were weak and Elladan was in a lot of pain but other from that the broken ribs had healed and so had his bruises and wounds. Elrond almost passed out with relief and Celebrian and Arwen were crying with joy. Glorfindel stayed away now, almost as if he suddenly had become shy of them all, and he barely showed himself in public. Elladan was being fed only soup and had to stay in bed for yet another week but Elrohir recovered fast and told his father of Avanwar’s true intentions. Elrond got very concerned and sent letters to both Galadriel and Cirdan with warnings. If Avanwar really carried something that hid his true nature to the rings then everybody could be in danger now.

Finally Elladan was strong enough to leave the infirmary, he was walking with a stick for a while and he had terrible nightmares but he was making progress. Then one evening he met Glorfindel in the park, the balrog slayer sat there with a book and Elladan took a deep breath and gathered his courage, walked over. Glorfindel started when he saw who it was that approached him, he almost looked scared for a moment and Elladan smiled gently. He was pale and thin still and he couldn’t use much strength before he became exhausted but he was getting there, it just took a while. “May I sit down?”

Glorfindel swallowed hard. His eyes almost shy and he nodded. “Of course”

Elladan took Glorfindel’s hand and the golden warrior gasped, stared at the peredhel with wide eyes. He had feared that Elladan would blame him after all, that the words he had said were just empty, brought forth by a brain that was dying. The hand was so soft and warm and even though it lacked strength now it would return soon enough. “I remember it Fin, everything. Every word you said”

Glorfindel felt small, no, tiny, nervous like a mouse crouching in front of a cat. “You do?”

His voice but a faint whisper. Elladan nodded and kissed his hand, there was something moist on his cheeks. “Yes, and I meant what I said too, I am yours, if you still want me that is”

There was some trepidation in those last words, some fear. Glorfindel stared at Elladan’s beautiful face and he couldn’t contain himself anymore. He pulled Elladan into a hug and felt himself sobbing with relief and joy. “Of course Dan, of course I do.”

Dan kissed him swiftly, a very chaste kiss but it bore a promise of something more. “Then I hope you can be patient? I am not really ready to do something….physical…for a while yet”

Glorfindel felt like weeping, he kissed Elladan’s cheek, caressed his hair. “Of course I can be patient, you decide this Dan. I will not touch you until you are ready for me, this I swear”

Dan leaned against the golden warrior and sighed, his eyes distant but also content. “I made a very bad choice didn’t I? But this time I know I have made the right one.”

Glorfindel nodded. “With Eru as a witness, I swear to you, I will never bring you anything but joy and pleasure.”

Elladan let Glorfindel embrace him, closed his eyes. “I know Fin, I know”

 

Some weeks later they received a note from Lothlorien, it was from Celeborn and he told that a group of the galadhrim under the command of Haldir the marchwarden had come across a horse running around with no rider. It had been wearing a saddle from Imladris and bore lord Elrond’s brand. They had investigated further and then they found a small battlefield, there were some dead orcs and one dead elf and it appeared as if the ellon had been caught by surprise somehow, he hadn’t tried to fight the orcs at first. But they had overpowered him and Celeborn wrote that he had been tortured to death, he had probably died very slowly and under extreme agony for the marks on the body were gruesome.

They also sent the pouch the rider had been carrying and some of his stuff and it was no doubt. Avanwar had met his fate and it was such a well deserved one. He hadn’t been held as high in regard as he believed, the orcs hadn’t hesitated when they saw a lone elf and they didn’t speak sindarin so they didn’t understand that he was an ally. Orc’s have never been accused of having too much intelligence and they had acted the way they used to, regardless of who the elf claimed to be serving.

Elrond told everybody of the letter and Elrohir felt that his brother in fact had been avenged in a way, at least Avanwar wouldn’t become a problem again and he had probably never had gotten to deliver his message either. They were in high alert for a while but the number of attacks did decrease with nobody on the inside, giving away the weak spots and things returned to normal.

Both Elladan and Elrohir had problems as a result of what happened but they were strong and helped each other. Then one morning about a year after Elrohir walked into Elladan’s rooms to get a cloak he had forgotten there the day after and found his brother sleeping soundly in the arms of the balrogslayer. Both looked very content and very happy and Elrohir smiled from the sight and there was much love and tenderness in that smile. It was good to see that Dan finally had a chance at the happiness he truly deserved, yes, this time he had made the right choice.


End file.
